Feminine itch cream.

Posted on January 19, 2012


If given the opportunity, the world will reach its dark hand out and shake the life out of us humans. It’s like it sits in the shadows, nibbling on its fingernails until it finally sits its eyes upon the victim. Then it grabs the poor soul and shakes them seemingly until the universe is giggling with encouragement. I say this because this cruel fact of the universe nearly had me (a sleep deprived & highly vulnerable target) in its clutches. @ 514 a.m. I stumbled into the bathroom to prepare for work, unbeknownst a clever trap lie before me.

 Following the predetermined pattern, I opened the drawer where the toothpaste was, grabbed my toothbrush and began to open the top on the tube. It was only my keen senses, no doubt energized by the four recently installed new lightbulbs, that I realized the toothpaste tube was smaller than usual. Travel size? Couldn’t be. Those are in my travel bag! To my dismay, and yet also to my surprise at having smited the universe from its master plan…I noticed the toothpaste tube was not toothpaste at all. Vagisil. Feminine itch cream. Nearly on my toothbrush. Lessons learned? That the world can indeed be smited with some quick thinking. Furthermore, I now know where to turn in case my teeth start to itch.