Viagra-filled grocery store.

Posted on February 17, 2012

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Going to the grocery market is never really something I enjoy. The aisles are crowded. Most of the people are not to be looked at due to various forms of genetic malfunctions. Due to a recent grocery store closing nearby this particular grocery store is now way too over-crowded. Another thing that bothers me is the increasing line of cars parked near the front of the store. Even when there is plenty of parking there will persistently be 3 cars or so parked in the fire line at the front of store.

Now when this happens I think to myself…what kind of emergency product do these people need to buy that they must park so close? Toilet paper? Tampons? Condoms? Baby formula? Baby diapers?

Then I realize most of the people exiting or sitting in the cars look old. Now, this I can approve of. The parking lot can get busy and older people don’t move fast enough to keep from getting run over on overcast days. This I’m fine with.

It’s fat and lazy looking that I have a problem with. Please, put out your cigarette & park your car. It’s not like you’re the only one who want to park close.

Hell, if I could I’d park in the damn produce section.

The other thing that bothers me is the looks old women give me when I try to beat them to the express check out aisle. Even with a bigger cart, but my item # still within the respectable limit, I am often able to manuever rather eloquently around the incessant and unnecessary product promotions and get in front of these maniacal women.

But it never fails. Some frosty-brained octogenarian will zip around me and glare at me like I just burned a bible.

Begrudgingly I pick another aisle and secretly file the old woman’s beastly face in a file in my mind for reasons to help me avoid her in the future. Who knows…maybe next time she might shoot a frost-beam from her eyes and destroy my carefully considered groceries in my cart? These old-timers are dubious at best.

But the place that is most alarming(other than the bathroom, which will not be discussed) is the pharmacy. Like most people, getting my drugs at the grocery store saves me time from going two places. The problem with this convenience is the limited space involved in getting these prescriptions.

For example, there is no privacy. Now thanks to a robust health I do not take any medications I wouldn’t mind others hear that I ingest. But it is not uncommon to hear some sleep deprived person in the line in front of you say something like, “I hear this drug has Viagra like properties? I’m looking forward to that!”  No joke.

In the end I realize there are indeed other grocery stores nearby. & in knowing that I have ventured to one bigger, cleaner and with (as of yet) not as many Viagra seeking clients.

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